The Joy of A Life Less Meaningful
I’ve been lucky enough to connect with a beautiful healer. She gave me this wonderful coaching session and from it I gathered that most of my worry comes from assigning meaning to things that do not necessarily need to have any assigned.
It opened up a whole new way of thinking that I had forgotten about.
That thinking is: Life is meaning-less. It is only when we DECIDE what something means then it means that thing.
We make our decisions on what significance something has based on our background: things we already believe to be true. (Regardless of whether those things are true, we have (you guessed it) decided that they were, so they are.) The system of beliefs that we hold on to then creates the meanings of the experiences that show up in our lives.
Usually, the value we give to something is a direct reflection of the value we give ourselves.
Let's create an example. Let's say James has had a hard time in life. He has been shy for most of his life and believed that no one ever liked him. His laptop recently broke and he went to a help desk to get it fixed. He finds himself being helped by someone with a bad attitude who is unable to fix his computer. James walks away thinking, "No one ever respects me. Everyone treats me like a joke and no one can help me. I am truly alone."
The truth is the technician in this example was new, inexperienced and very stressed out. His attitude had nothing to do with James, but based on a possible pre-existing belief about himself, James assigned a meaning to this experience that reinforces his negative belief about himself.
If James instead thought, "Ok, that didn't work, so what? Ok, I guess I will try something else.", then there is no meaning assigned to the experience which allows it to be an empty event that has no significance.
In this case, he opens up new possibilities of finding something better. Finding a better technician, finding a better computer, maybe even meeting someone new on the journey.
I have heard before the greatest meditation can be summed up in two words, “so what?”. That no matter what thoughts come into your head simply repeat “so what” and begin to uncover the insignificance of the events that are consuming your energy.
So why does this matter?
Our attitudes are our navigation devices. With the right one, we can find ourselves in wonderful places, with the wrong one, we can follow a path that is filled with stop signs and internal roadblocks.
And because this perspective can free our minds from the anxiety and overwhelm that comes from assigning negative meaning to our life events and we deserve the limitless joy that comes with that perspective.
What do you think?