Seeing with Love’s Lens
A woman I know looked at her phone and shook her head. She walked over to me and said, "look at this text message my husband just sent me".
It was a list of things to remember before her big trip.
I looked at it and commented, “oh look at all the ways he is telling you he loves you.”
Her expression totally changed. “Ohhh”, she said, “I was looking at this and thinking God, look how he is micromanaging me. But you changed that for me.”
A few weeks later she came up to me and showed me a text on her phone again and this time she said, “look at all the ways my husband is telling me he loves me.” We both laughed!
How much better does it feel to look at something and feel the love from it than to feel constricted by it!
Love’s lenses are a freeing way to view the world around you. We are all wearing some form of lenses from which we view our world, and the vantage point is make-or-break. No matter which lens you chose to view your life from, you will always be right. That is why it can be difficult to be in a relationship with someone (lover, partner, friend, colleague, parent, child, etc) where you do not share the same lenses. Especially if one person is heavily invested in their perspective.
Recently a friend called me to express her need for help. She said she felt isolated and believed that there were not a lot of people in her life that would help her. She asked me to reach out to her network and see if assistance was available for her. What I found was an outpouring of love and support; people wanted so much to help her. There was so much love available for her. But in her limited perspective, she was only able to see some of it. She felt so much better about herself and her world when she was able to view it from this perspective: she shifted from lonliness to love. Wow.
When we only look at life through one set of lenses, we are looking for life to appear a certain way.
It is important to allow for the possibilities of other viewpoints to come into our lives. It makes life’s playground a lot bigger and possibilities for expansion greater. Each perspective is its own path with its own trajectory. Opening up to other perspectives, lenses and interpretations of life expands allows us to choose the path that feels the best and move in that direction. There is no penalty for choosing the best forward feeling. It is our right!
So ask yourself this question the next time you are feeling especially constricted by a situation, “If I looked at this through the lens of love, what would I see?”